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Saturday, July 29, 2006

Introduction

My name is Jeremy Gillitzer and I am a 34 year old male who has struggled with a serious eating disorder for 23 years. I have been in and out of treatment facilities throughout the United States during most of my adolescence and young adulthood. The length of these hospitalizations ranged in length from 3 months to as long as 18 months. Needless to say, I didn't have a very fun adolescence.

When I was about 21, I came out of the closet as a gay male and my eating disorder slowly seemed to dissipate. I no longer felt as strong of an urge to binge and purge all day. I slowly stopped this behavior, began to gain weight, and met new friends. This reprieve from the eating disorder lasted about 5 years. I really thought I would never have to deal with this nightmare again. However, this behavior began again and pretty much lasted until the present.

Currently, I am struggling with binging and purging on ice cream several times per day (I go through a gallon per day), compulsively exercising sometimes for up to five hours per day, depression, anxiety, social anxiety, and body dysmorphia. I sound like a great date, huh? Not to be a buzz kill, but this is the reality of my life. Lately, I have been feeling like I don't care if I live or die.

I started this blog because I want to find other males who struggle with similar issues. I know there are other men who struggle with eating disorders, but they are very reluctant to admit this because of society's perception that this is a "woman's" disease. Another reason for this blog is because I am in the process of writing a book about my experiences as male struggling with an eating disorder. Most of the book will include my experiences in the treatment facilities since I spent an inordinate amount of time in them. The book will also include details about my pathetic daily routine of literally eating and throwing up all day from dawn to dusk, my food hoarding problem that resulted in my evcition from my apartment on two occasions,and my coming out as a gay man.

I look forward to hearing from all of you soon.

Your friend,

Jeremy

4 comments:

Michelle said...

Hi Jeremy. Welcome to our blogging community! I've found lots of support and love and understanding here. May I link to you on my blog: onbulimia.blogs.com?

Also, please check out these 2 men's blogs about their struggle with bulimia:

http://www.yearofthepiglet.blogspot.com/

and
http://survivesurvivor.blogspot.com/

I have only read your first post so far, but can you tell us more about "food hoarding?" What is it exactly, and how did it get you evicted? Perhaps you've already written about it in a later post. I'm really looking forward to reading more and getting to know you.

With love and understanding,
Michelle Hope

jeremy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amanda said...

I'm sorry that you are in such pain, I have a food addiction and have struggled many years with it with the whole binging & purging thing.
I remember you used to come in and tan where I worked in Roseville before and you were always so nice to me, and at that time I was struggling severly too. I feel now I have a better hold on it, although I do still have bad days and good days, the only thing that has helped me through is my relationship with god, I pray and pray for help and strength, and I pray for forgiveness for my addiction.
please contact me so I can try to talk to you if you need it, I know it's hard to talk to anyone about it, it's a lonely disease.
amanda

Marco said...

Dear Jeremy,

there´s been a broadcast in german television about you.
I don´t know if you ever read this, but I just want to say that I hope that one day you can live your life you like it, and I´m sure there must be someone who can help you without giving you the feeling of beeing forced to something
Don´t let go

Marco